[This originally ran Oct. 23. It has been updated to reflect Hef’s 90th birthday on April 9.]

Most of you have heard that Playboy magazine will no longer publish photographs of naked women. Some say it is a sign of end times; others say they won’t notice because they only look at the profiles and trend articles.

By “others,” I mean liars.

There is also a sad story from London’s Daily Mail, relaying reports from British supermodel Carla Howe, 25, who spent time at the Playboy Mansion.

It seems the legendary abode in Beverly Hills has become a retirement home for Hugh Hefner, 90, who prefers to spend evenings watching vintage movies rather than cavorting with models. Says Ms. Howe, “Hef is so frail he goes everywhere with a group of nurses.”

She further disclosed that women living at the 22-bedroom home must adhere to a strict 9 p.m. curfew and it’s “like being in prison.”

Hef was once was the epitome of cool. He founded Playboy in 1953. The original working title was Stag Party and the first issue’s photo layout was of Marilyn Monroe, so he made good editorial choices early.

The magazine led to syndicated TV shows in the 1960s, a string of nightclubs in major cities and a reality show on cable. We’ll spare you details of his love life.

Back to Ms. Howe and the mansion. She tells of damp bedrooms, stained sheets and squalor. I wouldn’t want to visit because we cats have 10 to 20 times the sense of smell of humans. (Dogs’ noses are thousands of times more sensitive. Ever heard of sending cats to hunt down somebody who walked off a prison road crew?)

Writing this, we mean no disrespect for Hef. Imagine what shape your sorry ass will be in at age 90.

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