[It’s April Fools’ Day — plus a week. Instead of pranking a human I present this repeat from last Aug. 19.]

You know airlines think of people as cattle. You probably thought they’d never admit it.

Via the Daily Mail of London comes word that Uzbekistan Airways will have passengers stand on scales, with their personal luggage, after they have checked in. If the flight is packed and the plane is small, the more plump of the herd will be directed to another flight. (No word whether border collies will be involved.)

The airline said in its statement: “According to the laws of the International Air Transport Association, airlines are obliged to carry out regular procedures of pre-flight control such as weighing passengers with hand luggage to observe the requirements for ensuring flight safety.”

How were they doing that before? Did they depend on things to even out, as they always have, or did they hire observers from carnival midways?

When U.S. airlines think they can make a buck on this, they will risk creating even more ill will among customers, just because they can get away with it. After all the mergers, the top four airlines carry 80% of domestic traffic.

The sorry spectacle brings to mind that classic “Twilight Zone” when aliens (from outer space, not Mexico) landed and made nice. If you’ve never seen that episode, stop reading (spoiler alert).

The friendly aliens offered a free trip to their planet and got takers, who were weighed. In the meantime, the military worked to translate a book the aliens consulted titled “To Serve Man.”

It turned out to be a cookbook.

R.I.P. Rod Serling, who wrote the teleplay. As a young writer, he often clashed with sponsors and networks, screaming censorship. He never lived to be an old writer. He left us four decades ago, at the age of 50.

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