Did you hear that the queen of England is quitting her job?

Well, maybe. Speculation has surfaced before and been shot down. The source this time is a Buckingham Palace insider blabbing to OK! Magazine, always chock full of news about celebrities that people like us don’t give a tasty rat’s ass about.

(That’s a metaphor, of course. We cats kill mice for sport and then bat them around. If we actually ate them, somebody in Comrade Bill’s NYC would set up a cannery. Low input costs create a great business model.)

Anyway, at age 89 Queen Elizabeth II supposedly has tired of official visits and waving to gawkers and wants to retire for the sake of her husband, Prince Phillip. From the insider: “She wants to spend every possible moment with the man who’s been by her side for 70 years. She’d hate for something to happen to him while she’s away on official business.”

Elizabeth became queen in 1952 when her father, George IV died, and has had the longest reign of any British monarch. If this story is correct, she will abdicate in the spring.

OK! Magazine went on to drop another bombshell: Her eldest son Charles, 67, won’t be ascending to the throne because Mum has brokered a deal for grandson William to become king and his wife, the former Kate Middleton, to be queen.

Geez, Charles can’t catch a break. He looks like a horse. He suffered through a messy divorce and then his ex-wife got killed in the most publicized traffic accident in history. At the end, he gets no credit for being the hardest-working royal in history. Often life isn’t fair, even when you’re the Prince of Wales.

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