According to widely varying surveys, the average American watches several hours of TV a day. Over years and decades, it might be expected that such exposure could change one’s view of the world.
For instance, habitual viewers of a certain station in Atlanta probably have the mistaken impression that …
73% of young mothers not from wealthy families allow something horribly wrong to happen to their toddler.
87% of all robberies are committed by young black males.
100% of sketch artists employed by local police departments think all young black males look alike, give or take dreadlocks.
42% of the population is gay or lesbian. (No survey has come in above 10%, with some saying less than 3%; perhaps marriage statistics will shed light in coming years.)
80% of all attorneys admitted to the Georgia bar do nothing but chase personal injury cases and sit by their phone. (“There’s no fee unless you win.”)
57% of all marriages involve people of different races. (The real percentage is above 12% and headed higher; hooray for clear-thinking people following their hearts.)
86% of husbands are dullards, put in their place hourly by quick-witted spouses.
93% of people look to cellphones and cars to validate the status of their personal existence.
63% of rental housing is provided by slumlords in low-lying areas prone to flooding.
19% of people on county payrolls are irretrievably corrupt, sitting ducks for the I-Team to investigate. (Now you know which station.)
99% of restaurant chefs are assholes.
That is a fair estimate. Well played, Fox 5.