As endeavors go, urban bicycling seems to draw more than its share of sanctimonious asshats.

After all, THEY are superior stewards of the environment and might live 10 minutes longer than YOU, who are polluting with your fossil-fuel-powered vehicle.

Urban bicyclists are experts on the Rules of the Road – as they apply to motor vehicles. They tend to ignore their side of the bargain, like stopping at red lights and stop signs. They don’t mind backing up cars on two-lane highways. (Points for bravery here; they know some drivers would prefer to squash them like bugs.)

New York cyclist Alex Bell secured a spot in the Asshat Hall of Fame by suing UPS, claiming its trucks disrupt his commute by blocking designated bike lanes. The original small claims case for $999 was thrown out for lack of evidence. (Apparently Mr. Bell thought he’d win by whining to the arbitrator without showing financial damage.)

Now the complaint has been refiled, with Mr. Bell citing subway fares he had to pay to get to his job as a software engineer.

“I am trying to annoy UPS,” Mr. Bell told local news website “If you annoy them enough, they’ll change maybe.”

But probably not. Finding space to park a delivery truck in Manhattan is tough. Plus, UPS claims that state law allows trucks to double-park as long as the driver makes “an expeditious attempt at delivery.” That includes in designated bike lanes.

UPS apparently tried to settle the case, but not for the full $999. No deal was struck because Mr. Bell insisted on the full amount …

… At which point the company decided to say stick it, asshat. A lovely outcome.