Why not Bernie Sanders?

He labels himself a socialist, but he is more appealing than the other canines in the field — Hillary Clinton (lying hound), Martin O’Malley (slobbering opportunist), Joe Biden (amiable retriever), Lincoln Chaffee (who?) and Jim Webb (not bad, but we’ll be surprised if he catches that bumper).

Sanders is drawing crowds on the stump and enthusiastic support from millennials on social media. Voters aren’t asking for vision and charisma from presidential candidates anymore. Somebody who mumbles morsels of truth and doesn’t reek of phoniness will do. (This also explains Donald Trump.)

But what of the Fading Dowager Empress of Chappaqua? (Name-calling courtesy of Michael Walsh at P.J. Tatler.)

Inevitable, pundits intone. The same people who assured you Ronald Reagan could never be elected, and that Hillary was invincible in 2008.

There are hints long knives might be out. The liberal media may be ordered by their handlers at the DNC to anoint another Democrat. Biden trial balloons are up.

If that doesn’t work, and quickly, the Bernie Bandwagon is off and running. Fox News and talk radio will comb his extensive public record to prove he is a socialist. (Hey, O’Reilly, he already told you.) They will ignore the stuff Bernie says that sounds downright conservative.

America has flirted with socialism when economic times were tough, and that yearning apparently hasn’t gone away. A Pew Research Center poll in 2011 found that almost half of young adults (18-29) had a favorable view of socialism.

Thus, it’s possible to envision … Sanders the nominee, as voters tell Wall Street and corporate welfare lobbyists to stick it.

Given that the current occupant of the White House is also a socialist, having somebody – anybody — who respects the rule of law and would work with Congress might not be so bad.

I use a litter box, but you humans might best stock up on toilet paper, just in case. Remember Venezuela.